Like I don’t already have enough sh*t on my plate but for the last two months I’ve had problems with my cable, internet and cell phone - the latter which I then traded in for a blackberry that hasn’t worked since I bought it.
Granted AT&T does give you 30 days to return it but during that whole time I was dealing with Comcast thinking the email problem was on their end. It was and it wasn’t.
I got a new email address as suggested by AT&T, am now on my 2nd blackberry (Nokia E71x) and have made 6 round trips to and from the AT&T store to get my blackberry to work and guess what? It’s not f*cking working!!! I’ve spent WAY too much time and energy just trying to get services I PAY FOR to do what they are supposed to do! WTF?
Can’t anyone do what they say they are going to do?!?!
****
In addition I still have had NO offers on my house and am feeling pretty nervous about that.
****
I have to go sit in a little room with my asshole-ex-husband tomorrow and work out kid-related issues with him and a counselor for $150 an hour to listen to him go on and on about what a fabulous person and father he is and how lacking I am - 7 YEARS after our divorce!
We have to do this because he can’t friggin compromise on anything and it’s all gotta be his way, even for very petty things. But hey, those petty things HE can pay for to address legally and for kicks while draining me of all I’ve got while I try to what’s right for the kids.
But that’s another thing we have to work out. M-ster is still with him full time and DD is still with me full time. At this point I don’t see how I can ever take M-ster back (thanks to him), and after the house sells I’ll be lucky to find a 3 bedroom home for me, Little One and DD - leaving no room for CoCo when she’s home from school, and no room for M-ster either (and no, she cannot share a room with anyone if we are to have any peace). Most likely I’ll be renting a piece of sh*t for a while but still nothing that my kids will want to be in by comparison to their father’s place.
Like Ex hasn’t done enough already but by the time this is all said and done my terrific credit score (790) could very well be ruined and I wont be able to provide a home desirable or even suitable for all my kids. Either way the kids probably won’t want to be with me because Ex and Wifey are shopping million dollar+ homes while I might be in a cardboard box.
Ex is essentially going to gain custody by financially ruining me and buying the kids. Sweet.
Oh and since this latest round of sabotage began in December my legal bill for it all is now over 10K (in addition to what it already was) and I’m still losing my house/only investment/asset – in this economy - because of the SOB and his very calculated timing ...
Whatever profit I make from the house sale - if any - will go toward my attorney bill instead of a down payment on A HOME FOR MY FAMILY.
And this is all in the best interests of the kids how?
And why the F*CK can this kind of sh*it NOT be legally prevented/enforced ? The money wins – no matter what - even when it’s not the best thing for the kids, STILL in this day and time?!?
Well, “Being a sociopath is not a crime” – CSI NY.
Not only that but DBD still hasn’t agreed to pay for preschool so that battle is looming, plus the adjustment to child support that will need to be made due to the loss of my maintenance in September – also the same month Little One starts preschool. And if I’m still in my house by then, I won’t be able to afford the mortgage let alone a tuition for preschool/daycare.
And let me tell you that being self employed while having to deal with all this sh*t hasn’t help me build my business or increase my income at all. I would like to NOT have to rely on child support but I can’t right now and why the f*ck should I not? Just because my kids fathers are assholes?
Can I just say…People F*CKING SUCK!
You know who you are and may you burn in eternal hell and may Karma catch up with you well before then.
Oh, and the people who say sh*t like, “what you put out in the universe comes back to you” - can go f*ck themselves. No one deserves this crap – and I haven’t even been able to blog about all that has transpired.
Regardless, Ex & Wifey broke up two marriages with 5 kids between them to feed their egos and selfishness, have caused a lot of damage because of it and are not done wreaking their havoc and as far as I’m concerned, haven’t received an ounce of justice.
No, life is not fair but some people go out of their way to make sure of that regardless of what you “put out in the universe.”
I’m not the only one dealing with evil people and some days are harder than others to stay positive.
A little rant and a little blog help though.
About Me
- MindyMom
- Being a mom is the toughtest job there is; being a single mom presents additional and unique challenges. I'm a 39 year old single mom of four and I write about my observations and experiences as they relate to being a single mom, dating, relationships, kids and how I try to keep it all balanced. Email - mindy0425@gmail.com
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23 comments:
Your right, people suck and the ones that should be eating shit never do. I don't know what to tell you about the rest, other then kids really are resilient and can take a surprising amount of change in stride. Doesn't make your life any easier. Wish I could help.
Holy crap, that sucks. I don't even know what to say. I think the most disappointing moment after my own divorce was when it occurred to me that I was going to have to deal with my ex for the rest of my life. Ugh. It never ends, does it? So sorry you're having to go through all this.
Money wins.
It sucks and is wrong - but you're right.
I'm sorry you have to deal with this. In the long run I hope all your daughters realize the truth.
1st off, I HATE my Blackberry. The damn battery dies if I use it more than 3 times a day and it takes a picture if it bumps against my purse walls. Urgg I have so may pictures of cloth that I want to scream.
2nd, keep your chin up. I know it sucks right now, but YOU have your head on straight even though it doesn't feel like it sometimes. Keep doing the things that make you feel good about you, like working out, dating and hanging with kids and friends. You will come through this.
Ugh, I know how you feel after 2 months of on and off internet access at home!
As for the X, yep, rant away. Plenty of us, unfortunately, get it. And I know you'll get through this just as you've gotten through everything else. Doesn't make it all any less sucky, though.
What a fucking nightmare. I feel for you and hope things work out. Not sure how but I sure hope they do. The whole money thing over here is terrifying. I don't know what I would do if I got into a legal battle here with my ex. At least in the UK I would get full legal aid. Here...no chance. Horrifying how it can destroy families lives. Keep your chin up...and I really hope the rant helped. {{{{HUGS}}}}
Hugs girl. Big hugs. People do SUCK. And I wish them all a big flaming pile of dog poo on their front porch.
WOW, I am so sorry to hear all this.
I went through a version of this as a child after my parents marriage was torn apart (I was 8) thanks to a sociopath. She turned my mom against my dad, and then used my mom to turn us against him all while taking our money. I moved around a lot growing up.
Your children may be young now, and may be fed garbage about you while living in a nicer house.
But speaking from experience, your children will know the real truth as they get older. They are intuitive and pay attention. They will realize how much you love them if they don't already realize it.
My relationship with my dad is a lot stronger now, and no one can pull us apart again. It took a while. I didn't come around until I was 25, but it did happen.
You've said that you been through hard times like this before and come out stronger. I know that you will make it through this ( I know, oh so cliche)
The economy will turn around, and karma will visit your ex and his whore (oops, forget I said that).
It may not come instantly, but it does come around usually when you least expect it.
Sorry if I sound like a Hallmark card, but I do hope things get better soon for you.
Hi there, found you through Alicia's blog, and man oh man can I relate - and today more than EVER! I had to spend all f*#king day today in family court with my son's father; fighting a dead beat who although hasn't given me a cent for our 22 month old son EVER, and has been ever so BARELY involved in our son's life, had the audacity to suddenly want joint custody of MY child. I've wished him death many times over the last 22 months, but today I almost did it myself. Ugh. I'm trying to focus on peace, I really am, but dammit if he makes it almost impossible.
Anyway, I just wanted to say hello and offer my support as someone who can feel your pain. Hang in there. May better days be ahead.
Sounds perfectly dreadful. What you really need are a bevy of sympathetic, loyal & friendly lawyers. (Well short of all the revenge fantasies involving flames & explosions...).
It would help mightily to befriend, & possibly even yes, date some smart lawyers. Especially the ones who know how to do plenty of 'crafty' legal BS to slow down some of this rolling disaster you describe. Just for the experience & the possible aid they might lend to the battle.
And I know it's a battle. And at the moment the side of 'truth' or 'justice' is not doing particularly well. Mammon as ever has them beat soundly. This is to be expected. Everywhere. Which is why you need to find some allies to fight back in the strongest & sneakiest & persistent ways possible. Unfortunately, that too takes time and money. Things you do not have in abundance.
But you really need more allies. Somewhere & somehow. And quick too. Nothing much will improve fast until you catch another few useful 'breaks'. Friends may be able to help there. New or old, close or distant. They need to step up presently to help. Cheers & Good Luck, 'VJ'
Oh Mindy, I have so many wishes for you, but my first one is for you to hit the Lotto or jackpot somehow so that YOUR money can win. People do suck, I'm sorry. :(
*HUGS*
Ok, this is me, as a guy, throwing his show in the door.....phew, didn't get thrown back out at me so I guess I can enter..........
You are the best! I have never read a blog post that made me laugh like this one. Don't take it the wrong way. I really think your situation sucks big time! But, you came across so honest and raw I felt like I was sitting at a bar with you having a drink. Shouting and getting things off your chest.
I do agree with Senorita that it will come around. He can't buy true love and respect that your kids will have for you. I won't give you a load of crap now. Who knows when or how long it will take for him to get his just rewards. You know what, you can't worry about it. The only thing you can do is do the best you can with what you can control and love your kids.
I am sorry he is being such a di_k to you. He should just man up and make sure his kids are happy, not just in his house, but yours as well.
PS: Love the CSI quote.
oh my... i feel your pain... i hope it all gets better.
First time visitor. : )
Thanks everyone for all the kind words. And for reading my rant.
QT - I'll take that drink anytime.
VJ- just let me know if YOU know any of those people.
Senorita - it's really nice to know someone else who understands the whole sociopath thing.
Barry - Glad this made you laugh and you are exactly right; this is what I sound like in a bar with a friend after a really bad day. When the friends are not available the blog will have to do. ;)
Welcome PorkStar. Love the name.
Mindy, I know a few here in Ga., but in Denver? All I can think of is Jeralyn Merritt of TalkLeft fame here:
http://www.jmerrittlawoffice.com/jsp2091037.jsp
Her specialty is criminal defense however. Me, I'm worried that you're running out of time & road to get things changed significantly. You might ask her office for a referral for someone in dire straights & 'low income' needing a good 'family/matrimonial/divorce practice sort'. It might help. But there's literally 1000's in the same boat more or less.
But who knows? Put the word out, your connections there are much better than mine on the edge of the known world here in salvation soaked EastBJesus Ga.! Cheers & Good Luck! 'VJ'
First off, your Nokia is NOT a BlackBerry even though it's labeled a smartphone. If you want Bb service you need to use a Bb device with BlackBerry Internet Service. I have comcast and my emails come in instantly on my Bb.
Second, just how much do you want from from "DBD"? Sounds like you got the house and with a score like 790, it doesn't seem like you've needed to borrow too much money to get by. I'm also not buying "the whole world is against me" BS. It's common knowledge the courts are HEAVILY biased to the mother, and barring adultery or a substance abuse problem, there aren't too many reasons for the the father to get any sort of custody instead of the mother. Be thankful that things aren't any worse- 10k for an attorney's bill is CHEAP, and if you really think that's a lot I can only wonder what "DBD's" bill looks like. Really. You need to get a grip.
No Jay, you need to get a grip.
1) the attorney bill is not for any dealings with DBD - it is with my ex-husband & father to my older 3 children. DBD is a seperate issue.
2) the 10K is just the latest attorney bill in addition to the existing balance form the ones generated almost non-stop for the last 7 years. You do the math.
3)the house will be gone with nothing to show for it after the sale and after paying said atty bill(s)
4) Clearly my ex is a malicious and litigous ass if I'm still going to court and paying attys 7 years later.
5) that said, having such a credit score is even more amazing
6) when a bio father asks for FULL custody 7 years post divorce ("coincidentally" at the same time I will no longer recieve maintanance)I could fight it to the tune of $40K for which he may end up w/50% anyway (since there are no drug or legally enforceable issues), or just give him the 50% and lose 1/2 of child support. Keep in mind our kids are now 18, 15, & 11 and he's had VERY LITTLE to do with raising them.
7) people such as yourself who are ignorant of the FACTS should not make hasty comments.
8) who gives a sh*t about Nokia & BB and Nokia's version of such. The point is the device SUCKS and is not doing what it is supposed to.
Actually Jay, the state of Colorado heavily favors JOINT EVERYTHING when it comes to custody, even when the kids have been living, supported and are happy with one parent for the last 7 years, as Mindy had pointed out.
The courts don't really give a shit if you have a vagina or not anymore. Even when you have been doing all the work.
Mindy, you don't have to explain your situation to Jay or anyone for that matter. YOU are having a difficult time and no matter what it looks like on the outside, to YOU, it sucks.
This goes back to my rant about how everyone is suffering all the time. Some people see their suffering as worse than others and some people wonder what others could possibly have to complain about.
Perspective is a powerful thing, eh?
Hope it gets better soon for you, sweetie. Have a glass of wine and I'll *chink chink* with you from here.
((hugs))
It's good to rant ... and then move on. The worst thing for kids is when their parents can't be civil to each other. I have seen the damage done when that continues for years and years, and you just don't want to go there.
I do wish you the best, though. It sounds pretty tough. What's that saying — whatever doesn't kill me makes me stronger?
Ugh, this whole situation of yours makes me sick to my stomach and makes me want to jump on a plane to Denver and give you a big hug and a bottle of tequila.
And Jay? I know you probably are biased because of something that happened to you, but one size does not fit all. What Mindy's ex is doing is wrong, crazy and bullshit and what she is feeling is real and legitimate. It never ceases to amaze me that people leave mean comments on posts when someone is very obviously ranting and hurting. Ridiculous.
Hang in there Mindy, thinking about you and all this shit you are going through and praying for a good outcome for you and yours.
OMG, I think Jay needs a swift kick to the man berries.
It sounds like he is bitter from an ex wife. He should take that to another forum.
It also sounds like he didn't take the time to read your blog and get to know your situation before commenting, because if he did that he would've gotten the facts that you pointed out right.
Rants can help get shit out of the system. But once out, it can be good to follow up with the positives. Focus on the good, whatever it is.
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